I had mentioned in one of my walking video clips, that I had noticed sometimes feeling like I am in a fog, and that I am fairly sure it is from being often isolated from other people.
I first noticed it around the end of Dec. 2017, when I had been by myself for about 2 months. Little things like: What time did I wake up? What did I do earlier today? Did I eat?
The reason I am sure it is from being alone so often is because, on the rare events, when I have taken a bus and put myself in to the public for most of the day it starts to clear up.
This morning I woke at 6am (still sleeping at night and not all day, yay), cut my hair and walked to the store to get food. I got back and sat down and thought, “I need to cut my hair today”. Of course I then remembered I already had. However, waking up, cutting my hair, shaving and taking a shower, then taking the trash to the dumpster and walking to and from the store is a blur, dreamlike.
I know it all happened. I can recall every detail of it down to the people in the store, to overheard conversations I heard them having. I remember some cars that passed me on the street as I walked back. Even when I cut my hair, I recall the wire of the clippers knocking into one of the plastic hair clips, pushing it into the sink. So, it isn’t memory loss, just a strange fog, like it was a dream, or a feeling like it happened yesterday.
I have had long periods in my life where I have been isolated before. I seem to recall something like this from the past, but in the past my isolation was…well less isolating, haha. I do not dislike this feeling, I do not find it scary, and at times I almost like it. It is almost meditative. For example, when I am walking I have noticed I blank out from my surroundings and go into my own thoughts. Of course I see everything around me, it is just sort of unimportant compared to what I am thinking and I am simply moving myself across the landscape as I hear cars zoom by. It is very much like when you leave work, get into your car and drive home. You are suddenly home, but you don’t even remember getting off the exit nor most of the trip. That is how this experience feels, only much longer and much more often.
Anyway, it seems to happen more when I first wake and it is not a constant, it comes and goes depending on my activity and what I am doing. I guess if you are alone a lot and experience this, I am just letting you know that you aren’t alone in it and if you want the “trip” to stop, just hang out with someone haha.