Sometimes when I am awake all night, just sitting here reflecting on the past and my future plans, my wants and fears and my hopes, a song will come to mind. Different songs of course each time, this just happens to be the one tonight and they don’t even always match up to what I am thinking.
I have to admit a lot of times I am upbeat and “get over” things fast, but a lot of you out there, who know damn well who you are, suck ass (and don’t think for a moment that I don’t know you still pop in to look at me). So many of you sure as hell made my life a lot harder than it ever needed to be and many of you were just cruel about it or down right selfish.
I often wonder, how good does it really feel for you to sit there thinking that you won or got one over on me? Do you think you tricked me or that I didn’t know your real motives behind your words or fake-ness? The truth is, you didn’t actually get anything over on me. I agreed to things for my peace of mind, I allowed you all to think what you wanted, because at the end of the day I knew you were trash and always would be trash.
Karma is coming for all of you and I can not wait, some of you I see it slowly being dished out to you already. The truth is I was able to take all that shit, from all of you, and in the end, I ended up loving myself more now than I ever did before. Even with less, I learned to embrace what you took, stole and thought you were weaseling and took it all to a whole different extreme for myself and created something beautiful out of that. In the meantime, I was gaining self wisdom through the vileness of your actions and double speak you did, that in the end was meant to destroy me and/or so you could “get yours”. God forbid I end up with equal anything, take the most or in the case of others steal it all.
Trust me I have each and every one of your “numbers” and still till this day know you are all phonies. I might smile, but the hate for all of you burns deep inside me and do not think for a second it is ever extinguished. I will however rejoice in your self destruction. What happy days those will be.
There that feels better…now listen to the pretty song 🙂