Feel Like A Failure But Hopeful

I feel like a complete failure, but I am hopeful because I spent the past 24 hours really thinking about things. Why do I feel like a failure? Because when I was moved to my new motel room I decided while I was thinking about everything and formulating a plan in my head to get drunk and smoke the ecig.

I ended up going to bed and because it is a different bed than I usually slept with I woke with a painful neck and hungover. So, I took 200mg of Advil and 150mg of Zantac. Started smoking my ecig while I did yet another 1000 posts on tumblr. Then, because I have beer left I am drinking to finish it off. I only have 6 so that is the most I can drink. It is however only 1030am.

I emailed my ex boyfriend to tell him I will come to get my mail Tuesday. I was going to take the bus there today or Monday, but I am just going to wait till I move back to my other room when it is done being painted. My mail goes to my ex boyfriends house because I live in a motel, so I can’t really get mail here.

I have been saving soda and beer cans because NY has a bottle deposit. I finally had enough in deposit money to buy a full litecoin. So, I did that this morning.

I found a chat network that allows you to put a link to your website in your profile so, I added one of my gay cam sites Brian Longo dot com. Maybe that will give me some traffic.

I have been using 10kHits to generate some traffic to this blog, but I know its mostly junk traffic, however I noticed some people are real and I get some clicks in my store. Maybe one of those will generate a sale….eventually.

My goal for today is to finish these beers and once again go cold turkey on everything. Eventually I have to beat all this right?

 

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